When Fast Food Isn’t

There I was, just sitting in the drive-through line at Taco Bell, minding my own business,  when I spotted my friend Mary in the car in front of me. I could tell it was Mary because her eyes and her glasses were reflected in her drivers’ side mirror.

She was laughing and waving her arm, while carrying on a spirited conversation with the boy working the window. So spirited, in fact, that after a while I began to wonder if she was ever going to finish her business so I could pick up my order. I was in a bit of a hurry because I really needed to get the tacos to my mother, who’s in a local nursing home, before she ate her regular meal.

But Mary was determined not to leave. She continued laughing and waving her arm out the window of her car. That’s when I got the bright idea to call Mary on her cell phone. So I did. But when it went straight to voicemail, I knew Mary had left the house without turning on her phone. I decided to leave her a message anyway, telling her I was behind her and why wasn’t she moving and was she flirting with the boy at the window or what? Mary, I said, quit flirting with the boy and move on so I can get my tacos. But, of course, Mary didn’t hear me because her phone was turned off.

That’s when I decided I would change tactics. You see, Mary has a penchant for getting into little spats with people in grocery store lines. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made Mary angry, only to have her realize I was the person behind her? So I honked my horn and frowned at her and motioned her to move on. I was pleased when Mary frowned back at me in the mirror.

Except that’s when I noticed Mary’s arm looked a little larger than I remembered it. And Mary’s eyes and glasses suddenly didn’t look like Mary’s eyes and glasses at all. And this not-Mary was now glaring at me.

 Oops, I thought.

I quickly pasted a huge smile on my face and waved enthusiastically at not-Mary as if she and I were long-lost friends.

 Not-Mary looked a bit puzzled, but I breathed a sigh of relief when she drove off without beating me up.

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4 Comments

Filed under embarassing moments, fast food, friends

4 responses to “When Fast Food Isn’t

  1. Wendy

    chuckled to myself …..glad you didn’t get shot!!
    And did you get anything for yourself while driving through?????

  2. Brilliant strategy, waving to her like you were good buddies at the end. You should’ve mouthed “Call me” and done that little hand gesture that makes it look like you’re talking on a phone. That would’ve really perplexed her.

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